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UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone


Jun 24, 2022

Some of you know that I was a reproductive rights activist, advocate, litigator, and academic before I became a coach. So I am sadly not surprised by this decision as the writing has long been on the wall. But here's what I have to say as a coach:


The Supreme Court has overturned Roe v. Wade.

How do we meet this kind of challenge, from a coaching/thought work perspective?

Today is a day of mourning for anyone who cares about human autonomy and freedom. This ruling is a violation of the rights of anyone who can get pregnant, and in keeping with a long history of patriarchal control over women/childbearing bodies. As usual, the burden will be worse for people of color, disabled people, poor people, and anyone else living in a marginalized identity or a retrogressive state.

Thought work is not about finding a “silver lining” in human rights violations. It is not about seeing oppression as “perfect” because it exists.

It is about equipping ourselves to return to the fight.

It is about increasing our own resilience, to show up for what we believe, even when we seem to be losing.

It is about reclaiming our own ability to make meaning of our struggles and our lives, no matter what circumstances we live in.

It is about power in the one place that no one else can control: The inside of our own minds.

This work is about liberating ourselves from the inside out, so that we can continue to work to liberate the world.

So allow those emotions today. Anger, sadness, fear. Cry, grieve, scream, howl.

And when you’re ready, manage your mind. Choose what you want to believe – about this decision, about this world, about yourself, about your capacity to hold your experience, to find joy, to create change, to help others.

Many terrible Supreme Court decisions have been overturned in time. It is worth continuing the fight.

If we give up in our own minds, we are giving up on the world. That's how the patriarchy wins. Don’t give up.


P.S. If you want more guidance: I recommend Episode 31, What About Sexism, and Episode 70, Clean v. Dirty Pain.


P.P.S. The quickest thing you can do to help equalize abortion access in a post-Roe world is to donate to local and state abortion funds that will pay for women to travel to states where abortion is still available. You can google to find one close to home or you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds here: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/supportabortionfunds?refcode=nnafwebsite
Here is another list: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/abortion-funds-to-donate-to-how-to-help-1351451/